Entry #4: Tremors!

Took me nearly all day to piece this together before I could write it.

It starts off with breakfast.  I'm in my apartment having French Toast Crunch.  Epic already, I know.  Hold on to your seats.  Kevin comes out of his room and goes for a bowl.  Everything is normal so far.  We shoot the shit about random stuff.  Then Steve breaks down the main door screaming.  "LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

I'm fucking hungry apparently, because I want to keep eating.  Kevin doesn't seem to be paying attention to Steve, and Steve is jumping up and down flailing his arms screaming "WE NEED TO GO!  WE NEED TO GO!"

I finish my delicious bowl of cereal and ask him what's up.  He said something about protests.  I don't remember what.  So we leave the apartment, step outside, and we're in fucking Cairo.  Goddamn you media stations for getting into my brain, because now I'm part of the Egypt protests in my dreams.

I look over at Steve, and now he's posterboard Muslim.  Turban, beard and all.  He grabs a sign and runs off into the crowd.  I'm confused, and all I can think about right now is how much I want a glass of milk.  I look over at Kevin and he has his guitar and starts playing "Whats my name again" by Blink 182.  A couple of people throw coins at his feet.

There's a whole bunch of chanting going on when the ground starts to shake.  Earthquake?  Stampede?  Both seem like viable options, BUT NO!  FUCKING TREMORS!  Yeah, that's right, tremors, the movie.  The underground worm things.  They start poking up EVERYWHERE and DEVOURING PEOPLE.  I'm like OH FUCK!  So Kevin and I climb the side of a nearby building like goddamn Spiderman, where we conveniently find two poles, and we start pole vaulting across rooftops.  We're looking down and the ground is all tore up and these tremors are devouring people left and right.

I'm freaking out, because I still want that glass of milk.  There are apparently other people pole vaulting across rooftops, and then there's one guy, who we will from here on call Rocket Man, who JETPACKS OUT OF A BUILDING WINDOW and flies up to the rooftops.  Yes, this guy has a jetpack.

At this point I actually believe I'm dreaming.  I say this to Kevin and Rocket Man, and they laugh at me and call me a banana (I .. have no idea).  I jump off the building to where all the tremors are.  I break my legs and lay there.  A tremor senses me and starts going for me.

Then I wake up.

Moved to a Blog

Decided to move all this stuff to a blog instead of using Facebook notes, since Facebook is the devil.  I'll still post on FB when I updated the blog and tag people there.

Let me start off by saying yes, my mind is very very strange.  None of these are made up or embellished.  I only write what I remember without exaggerating at all.  If I exaggerated, that'd lose some of its flair.  This is, afterall, a dream log, and not "Story time with Ken(ny)."  Follow if you want, but it's really not necessary.  If you're included in the dream I'll tag you on the Facebook link.

Entry #3: Dino-Cowboys!

I don't even know what the hell this all means, but I remember it clearly.  Anyway, here goes.

It starts out with me and three other faceless people on top of the bell tower in the middle of UMD Campus.  It's raining out, but it's cool because we're all playing cards (poker I think).  It's windy, but somehow the cards aren't blowing off the table.  We start to hear screams off in a distance, so we all look.  There's an army of dinosaurs ripping apart the freshman quad.  So we're all like "oh fuck, what the hell are we going to do?"  Then I get the bright idea, "Quickly, let's use this zipline to get back to my room!"  That's right, a fucking zipline.  It appears out of NO WHERE.  So we all grab onto the zipline and speed towards Ivy Hall from the Bell Tower.

One of the guys is in front of me on the zipline and kicks in my window at the end of the zipline.  I remember being very upset because, hey, you just broke my fucking window, and it's raining.  We hear more screams and look out the window, and we see dinosaurs.  But there's something on the dinosaurs.  Oh, that's right, COWBOYS.  There are COWBOYS riding DINOSAURS terrorizing campus.  Kevin hears all of this and comes out of his room.  He's completely fine.  The three faceless people and I are trying to explain the dangers of cowboys and dinosaurs to him, but instead he grabs a beer and says "fuck it, I have homework."  Then he goes back to his room.

My phone rings.  It's Liz.  She's trying to tell me something about muffins, but I don't have time for that.  There's still a cowboy/dinosaur rampage going on outside campus.  I tell her this, and then all of a sudden we're all outside.  Jeremy is now with us.  I hear music in the background.  I think it was Thriller.  Jeremy and one of the faceless guys start to dance.

The cowboys riding dinosaurs are getting closer.  We need to figure out something to do.  Jeremy says "Let's go to space!"  He points to a convenient SPACE SHUTTLE parked next to Ivy Hall.  We all pile in while one of the faceless guys pilots.  We blast off.  Fuck Earth.

I hear a sort of ringing.  I wake up; it's my alarm.  I laid there for 5 minutes trying to process this dream.  Seriously messed up.

Entry #2: Sweet Tooth!

Going to start tagging people who are mentioned.  Still trying to piece together what happened.  I know this much happened.

We start off in Quincy.  It's me, my sister Alyssa, Chris Rooney, and Rose.  Chris is driving me home.  We end up in someplace far away from Scituate, and we get out of the car.  We start walking when I realize that we're 3 hours away from my house.  We all laugh like it's some kind of joke, and head back to the car.

But there is no car!  We walked maybe 10 steps away, and the car is gone.  Some bitch stole it!  So what does Chris do?  He steals a goddamn garbage truck.  What does he do with it?  Plows it into a nearby home.  Why?  I DON'T KNOW!  But he's all excited about it, and apparently he scared the thief into giving us back the car.  So we all get back into the car like nothing happened and keep driving.

Suddenly, we're parked at some fair.  And Chris is no longer driving, but my friend Collin is driving.  And Rose is no longer in the seat, but Jon is.  Jon and I are trying to set up a booth to sell guns, while Collin and my sister Alyssa are busy playing Operation.  Then Jon tried to talk to me, but he was speaking full on Spanish, and I could not understand him.  

Towards the end of the dream, Sara decides to drive up to the fair, but she's driving an ice cream truck.  And not just any ice cream truck, but this one: http://ui15.gamespot.com/654/sweettoothconceptart_2.gif.  Yep.  She drives an ice cream truck outfitted with machine guns to a gun show.  When she shows up a bunch of kids crowd around her for ice cream and she just flips them the bird.  I think she actually gave one of them a hamburger.  

At the end of the dream, I remember stealing the ice cream truck from Sara and driving off with someone (can't remember who) in the passenger seat.  We were eating all the ice cream and finally trying to get myself home.  Then I randomly drove off a cliff.

Entry #1: Captain Morgan!

After telling some friends of some strange dreams I've had, they've told me to write this stuff down.  I have some seriously screwed up dreams (usually dealing with hilarious shit), so here goes.

Last night's dream:

I was walking with some friends down the street.  For some reason there were hundreds of people camped out all facing the same direction.  Almost like 4th of July in Boston; maybe they were all waiting for fireworks.  I'm apparently wearing my "GO CEILINGS!!!" shirt that I wore for Halloween (I was a ceiling fan, GET IT? GET IT? Yeah...).  Someone from behind me yells "NUMBER ONE FAN!!  YEEEEAAAHHH!"  I turn around and there's a very large guy fist pumping wearing a bikini yelling at me about ceiling fans.

Next thing I remember is being on a zipline.  But this wasn't just any zipline.  No.  We aren't suspended over trees or water.  We're suspended over people dressed as Captain Morgan with long spears trying to hurt us.  The last memory I have of this is going on the zipline and booting one of the Captains in the face.

After we cross the zipline, someone brings up going to Six Flags.  At this point, watermelons start falling from the sky.  But none of us seem to care.  No, in dream world, it rains watermelons.  Perfectly normal.  The very last thing I remember about the dream is my friend Rose throwing a phone at me.  Then I woke up.